A question that I find myself faced with several times a week at the age of 25 is... "So when are you going to have a baby?" Like really, this is my life. In no way do I despise kids. Hell, I love the little rascals. But there is a lot of pressure on women to bare children. I need to birth the heir to carry on the legacy... right? Which leads me to the next question... what legacy is that? I don't have a name for myself yet. I haven't accomplished very much. I don't have the means to care for a child right now. There's still so much work to be done to JALISSA. How could I be someone's Mom? Then, there is the other side of me that sees my peers having children all down my timeline. The sense of being left out. The maternal part of me that feels a great need to birth a precious miracle from my body. Why all the pressure? That's the easiest question to answer: Society. Society puts all sorts of pressure on women. Society tells us that we have a small window in which conceiving a child is possible. Society glamorizes being a M.I.L.F. Society tells women that we must aim to be married and have kids, nothing else really matters beyond that. I'm in no way bad mouthing those who do, I appreciate and respect all the mothers out there! My Mother made many sacrifices for me and the love I receive from her is one that I hope I can share with my own children someday. But, it's my choice if and when I decide to make that happen. I feel that every woman deserves the right to choose their own destiny without the judgement of others.
Oprah Winfrey
Age: 63
No children as of yet. However, Oprah is a well respected Philanthropist who dedicates herself to service of thousands of girls in need around the world.
Tracee Ellis Ross
Age: 44
Currently no children. But, I know many men who are dying to reproduce those genes.
Queen Latifah
Age: 47
Current number of children: 0
Gabrielle Union
Age: 44
No children as of yet. However, she is Stepmom to Husband Dwayne Wade's three sons. They appear to have a close bond.
Janet Jackson
Age: 51
Recently gave birth to first child at 50 years old!
Zoe Saldaña
Age: 39
Has three sons with Husband, Marco Perego. She became a Mother at age 36.
Mariah Carey
Age: 47
Shares twins with Ex-husband, Nick Cannon, at age 42.
Jennifer Lopez
Age: 48
Gave birth to twins with then Husband, Marc Anthony, at age 38.
Halle Berry
Age: 51
Became pregnant for the first time at age 41. Rumor has it that she is pregnant with her third child at age 51.
Eva Mendes
Age: 43
Became a Mother at age 40 and may I add that she had Ryan Gosling's baby! Talk about a blessing.
All I'm saying is that there isn't a need for added pressure on women's pregnancies. It can happen and will happen when it's suppose to. Children are miracles! No one can place a time stamp on a miracle to happen, that's not how it works. Let's devote our energy to finding a cure for cancer or helping our fellow Americans through the current Hurricane Harvey crisis. Let's focus on more girls going to college and earning higher wages. Let's support each other's endeavors and goals in life. There is enough stress in our lives at this time, there shouldn't be additional stress on life that we may not be able to control. Trust that in time, everything will be as it is expected to be.
Signed off,
J. Black